Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Everyone says I win the strip club
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
