The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
