a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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