My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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