I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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