My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
