I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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