there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
