Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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