yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize