I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
