I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
