She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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