this just has baby written all over it
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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