I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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