Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
