i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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