I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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