im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
