4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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