just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
