Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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