We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
