three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
i think im in europe. pls send help
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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