with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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