Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
