She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
