I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
