When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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