After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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