rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
