oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
