apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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