your thong is hanging out like whoa
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
don't judge my taste in strippers
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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