What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
