I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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