I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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