Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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