did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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