party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
