I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
