Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
if only i could text you this smell
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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