$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
