i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
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Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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