I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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