He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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