i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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