i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
