You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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