Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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