eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i out mim tonsoeep
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