what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
