piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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