the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
