i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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