I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
