Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
