Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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