guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
