maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
