When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize