How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
