And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
