Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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