I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
